The Mr. Snuffleupagus Effect: Ephebophilia Is Somewhat Common

WARNING: The following content is for mature audiences only. It facilitates an educational dialog and not a formality to support or denounce opinions of others.

Sometimes we hear of a term that we think means one thing but actually means another. Hearing the word pedophile used openly typically is brandished similar to how people swear or say faggot to others. Another misconception is how sex registries brandish those on it as a pedophile list or child rapists. It simply isn’t true. But sadly society has in its head that it is true because once it’s said enough over and over then it must be true?

Pedophilia is an ongoing sexual attraction to pre-pubertal children. It is considered a paraphilia, a condition in which a person’s sexual arousal and gratification depend on fantasizing about and engaging in sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme.

I am no psychiatrist nor an individual credible enough to clearly understand the “underage community”. There will be a continuous debate on legality, clinical disorders, mental state, age of consent, assault, and so on. To be quite honest it is a taboo subject matter that society often expresses in pejorative terms. But with the open debate about sexual consent and the vastly differing laws, age requirements, and false labels it is worth a serious discussion to best determine if society or a minority group is overstepping its bounds?

The word pedophile by dictionary terms means, “a person who is sexually attracted to children.” But to the medical professional community, it defines it as, “primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.” But to inject a bit of maturity for a sensitive discussion, I feel that the classic pedophile definitions are children that have not reached the physical features of puberty. I may be wrong by other individuals or professionals. But there is my open opinion on the matter. Is pedophilia acceptable in forms of direct contact? Certainly not! But I think society has branded it to the lowest criminal forms. Merely the appearance of expressive classical paintings with nude children can raise eyebrows and suspicions if someone hints at the appreciation of the artistic value. Naturally, from our personal experiences in puberty, we understand that females develop much earlier than males. Somewhere about 5th grade, many girls have begun the transformation into womanhood. Around 7th grade, many males begin noticeable changes into manhood. The birds and bees stories of decades past have been replaced with smartphone app-based searches making the days of the random Playboy magazine hidden dad hid under the bathroom sink cabinet just past the roll of toilet paper a thing of the past. It is something we don’t talk about, but somehow all know the taboo rules of discretion – even as kids in middle school.

But a question that commonly is raised today is, “kids shouldn’t be on the registry because of curiosity?” However, it is acceptable to legislate a harsh prison term for consent, but statutory rape of a 17-year-old girl caught having sex with a 20-year-old boy? Now, remember that I used manhood to describe a 7th-grade boy but boy to describe a 20-year-old male? Why is the fine line of age a sticking point to levy harsh penalty? First: It is the law. Second: It is a feeble attempt to protect innocence. Third: It is the last form of control by others before the other person reaches his/her own legal decision making. Lastly: It has a punctilious conviction.

An example is if a 30-year-old woman has sex with a 16-year-old boy then its called just that; “had sex.” But if a 30-year-old man has sex with a 16-year-old girl, it is called rape. The highest age of the individual could be any significant legal age, and the outcome would be the same. However, the man would be labeled a pedophile, but the boy would be often celebrated in taboo discussions as “one lucky boy!” Funny how society separates sanctions.

When we frame any sort of sexual abuse as a “sexual relationship” or call a male survivor of sexual abuse lucky, we harm survivors of any gender.

But puberty has a funny way of throwing off how the value of maturity is measured. In life, at one time or another, we have met a person that we thought was an attractive woman or man only to learn that the person was 14 years old. It is as if we somehow accidentally internally label our mental assessments as pedophilic or inappropriate thoughts. Does that imply that we all carry pedophilic thoughts? It is a deep conversation perhaps we are afraid to answer because if we do so in an honest manner it could greatly impact the future standing as a trusted individual.

Recently there has been chatter about child sex dolls being banned in individual states? I don’t know how or what to think of that? I have heard of a collector edition Bennie Baby but a child sex doll. Does it come with a birth certificate? I am bewildered as to how this came to be an issue. If a product has a likeness image of a child then its illegal – if used for sexual arousal purposes? Personally, it’s a creepy feeling, but I have to question if a child sex doll could be in comparison to a small condom? Is that suggesting a micro-condom could be used by a minor versus an adult? It’s a silly comparison but to label a product as an age when it’s not in actuality that age presents a mindboggling rational as to why this law was introduced in the first place? Did a Senator catch a Congressman with one? Anyhow. I digress.

There is a thing that most often jokes about commonly known as the midlife crisis. A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old. Within those discussions, we often read or hear rumor of the 40-something male buying a sports car to meet some random girl half his age. The age is of the girl is indeterminate. But raises the issue if the man is labeled an Ephebophiliac? The reverse can be said for women past the age of 40 and the random “pool boy” stories.

Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19. The term was originally used in the late 19th to mid 20th century. It is one of a number of sexual preferences across age groups subsumed under the technical term chronophilia.

I get a chuckle about this particular subject. Women, and now men, have begun this craze of shaving, waxing, or removing pubic hairs from the groin area. Instead of hygiene, comfort, or other indiscretions, it poses a unique question if a man or women with pubic removal looks more pre or post-pubescent? Is this another taboo talking point subject because people want to suggest shaving is for one thing but represents another? But teens are doing the same thing by shaving when nobody, depending on the age of consent laws, can physically venture in that territory. The act of removing pubic hairs isn’t about metrosexual or self-confidence traits. Perhaps it is a hint of post-pubescent suppression for many under the guise of hygiene and appearance.

To be blunt, all of humankind has pedophilic thoughts. It doesn’t suggest that everyone acts out on them with physical touch or leering. The same similarities are how I view humankind with homosexual feelings. Again, it doesn’t suggest that people can become gay just as gay people don’t suddenly become heterosexual. The world has curiosities, and sometimes those curiosities cross a particular line society deems inappropriate with a set of sanctions. A former friend of mine lost his job with a police department because he voluntarily shared during a polygraph interview that he viewed child porn once. It is where a moment that we desire honesty, integrity, and a clean soul intersects quelling with an emotion that can never be eternally spoken. The sex registry isn’t filled with an overwhelming majority of pedophiles, rapists, ephebophiliacs or focused voyeurism individuals. Instead, the sex registry is the epitome of a weaponized all-inclusive mischaracterization of the word pedophile created by politicians and reinforced by pro-registry advocates.

Research has disproven the perception that sex offenders are especially prone to recidivism. In reality, recidivism rates for sex offenses are lower than for all other major types of crime, and the U.S. Department of Justice has found that only about 3 percent of child molesters commit another sex crime within three years of being released from prison. Meta-analysis of hundreds of studies confirms that once they are detected, most convicted offenders never sexually reoffend. (Not all sex offenders who victimize children are pedophiles; only about 40 percent of convicted sex offenders meet the diagnostic criteria for the disorder.) – Psychology Today

Before anyone interprets any ideas about the many classifications of pedophiles, they should never propose they are physically harmful or in similarity to murderers. There is no evidence that I can find to suggest pedophilic classes pose any threat to communities, society, or humanity. I personally do not know anyone that is or claims to be a pedophile. When
Milo Yiannopoulos once said, “In the homosexual world, particularly, some of those relationships between younger boys and older men — the sort of ‘coming of age’ relationship — those relationships in which those older men help those young boys discover who they are and give them security and safety and provide them with love and a reliable, sort of rock, where they can’t speak to their parents” is that discussion that many interpreted as support for pedophilia when in fact it was the opposite. He went on to say, “sexual attraction to someone who is 13 years old. Pedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty. That [discussion about sex and labels] is not what we’re talking about.” Shortly after because Yiannopoulos shared a candid story about his life and backlash, he resigned from his position at Breitbart News.

Perhaps a reason we are scared to talk openly about pedophilia is that we often don’t know anything about it. It is similar to how once the birds and bees were a right of passage became relatively impermissible. Sexual imagination is disallowed to be discussed in public and often in private settings. It isn’t just an elephant in the room issue. Sexual exploration has become the Mr. Snuffleupagus effect. If society and globalization are to remedy attempts at reducing child human trafficking in the sexual context, then we must have an open and candid conversation about the epitome of sexual taboos. Otherwise, if the professional medical community can’t properly address preventative care, then it will only be treated when the action is too late.

Where Is My Copy Of The Gay Agenda?

During the 1990’s I remember when gay equality was for many in the LGBT community was an in-depth secretive discussion. In fact, there was still the onset fear of being openly identified as gay or lesbian that many gay dance clubs or establishments wouldn’t open its doors until after 11PM. Many gay men wouldn’t show up until later knowing that heterosexuals were safely tucked away in their beds. Gay men would reverse park their cars to shield license plates being easily identified, and military base decals were obscured with tape or cardboard to hide from military police. After an evening of dancing and entertainment between gay members would suddenly end when Donna Summer’s hit “, Last Dance” was played. It marked the bar was closing, and the end of gay-themed fun would quickly resort back toward heterosexually-based demeanors and acting abilities of a straight-laced society.

The days of the gay bar seem long gone or appear to become mainstream leaving many in the LGBT community without an identity to call its own. When President Trump signed FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act), you might as well shot the heart out of the gay community. This is not to imply that gay men are prostitutes. Instead, it suggests that gay men used many adult-themed personal websites to meet one another.  Gay men, having few remaining outlets to seek other gay men, utilize, or used to access Backpage, Craigslist, or other hookup sites for dating, random sex or companionship. It has been the iconic staple for the gay community along when print ads would list men seeking men columns. Basically, it was the only outlet that allowed consenting adults to engage in not only sexual activity but a way for gay men to meet other gay men. However, male escorts and other sex workers were scattered in between the websites blending in with ads and conservatives sought a chance to forever close access to one part of the gay community. Overnight, Backpage, Craigslist, and countless other gay sites went dark due to government intervention due in part to FOSTA.

I used to laugh at the notion back in the 90’s when conservative lawmakers would make noise about “The Gay Agenda.” Strange that I never got my copy, but all the conservative lawmakers did? Despite the passage of gay marriage and specific LGBT equalities I always felt that the conservative agenda is to turn back the clock in the gay community. FOSTA, religious freedoms by the U.S. Supreme Court, repeal of transgendered in the military, the sex offender registry used as a weapon for allegations 30 years old or older, rollback of adoption laws, and countless other should be enough proof that anti-LGBT legislation is coming and shifting gay cultures. States with conservative lawmakers are rushing bills through committee quickly. While the nation is focused on Trump’s twitter feed legislation is blindsiding many LGBT Americans.

Personally, what two consenting adults do in the privacy of his/her bedroom is no business of mine. Other nations continue to engage in legalized prostitution or apps without government oversight, but they too are experiencing influence from not conservatives, but liberals that fought for pro-sex laws. Liberals in the German legislature seek to end legalized prostitution referring to #metoo influences and other fear-based and unfounded tactics. German conservatives surprisingly are against criminalizing or making sex worker registration more difficult. German conservatives cite that creating additional bureaucratic measures may begin pushing sex workers in the shadows similar to failed American sex culture. At least the Germans appear to be on the right strategy. Other nations don’t seem to be glued to mobile phone apps for gay hookups or dating, but it is a resource most accepted by the LGBT community. Its public policies and attitudes are far more accepting of the LGBT communities than the United States. In fact, many gay clubs continue to operate robustly allowing a healthy mixture of LGBT allies or the curious to enter its realm thanks primarily in part of sites such as Craigslist, Backpage, and other former websites affected by FOSTA.

Gay bars and gay dance clubs in America are closing based on an aging gay population leaving many young gay/bi men without places to call its own. It appears that neighborhood gyms are the newest substitute in gay meetings and hookups. Gay men are resorting to phone apps such as Tinder, Surge, Jack’d, Grindr, Scruff, and others. While that may appear okay to some, it provides a scary territory to LGBT members because of safety concerns.  However, when will these apps be affected by FOSTA and be taken offline leaving fewer choices? The conservative anti-gay agenda seems entirely clear to rid of LBGT communities, web access, bars, clubs, and apps once again isolating human beings from equal access. If the LGBT community isn’t careful, it may end up playing Semisonic’s “Closing Time” for any gay-themed establishment well before the end of the Trump-Pence presidency.

The Uncivil War On Sexuality

The sex offender registry and draconian laws aimed at offenders has destroyed lives of individuals and families. Today a new form of offender registration has transpired. This new offender registry creates life sentences using the internet as its delivery method carefully skirting libel and slander policies under the blanket of free speech. Naturally, this is not a registry, but social movements are utilizing social media platforms to quasi-create a public registry with no hopes of being removed or deleted, and it’s creating more harm than good.

A recent news segment mentioned an R&B superstar named R.Kelly. Kelly is one of pop music’s best-selling artists, with hits including “Ignition,” ”I Believe I Can Fly,” ”Step in the Name of Love,” ”Same Girl” and “Bump N’ Grind.” He has also written hits for Celene Dion, Michael Jackson, and Lady Gaga. He was acquitted in 2008 of child pornography after a video circulated appearing to show him having sex with a teenage girl. However, as he continued to score hits and sell out stadiums, more women have come forward in recent years accusing him of sexual misconduct. Kelly had been scheduled to be among the performers at popular concert venues but was dropped as efforts by organizers of #MuteRKelly gained attention with support from Hollywood’s Time’s Up campaign. Overnight Kelly has been the target of an issue 10 years old creating a delayed response or condition. Many are wondering if the #metoo campaign has gotten out of control?

Society is witnessing improved tactics to create and facilitate registry styled methods using constructive hashtags and meme styled photos comparable to police lineups. All these methods are protected by free speech rights. There are disturbing trends with guilt by association tactics using political individuals seen in pictures or appearances with individuals accused but never charged with sexual improprieties in guilt by association tactics. The same strategy is being used on individuals as a result of news and information shifting from regular publishing sources to social media.  Social justice movements have designed strikingly similar registry models by combining low-level offenses with significant offenses presenting an appearance of guilt for anyone mentioned. Additionally, to be associated with the accused, guilty, or suspected has created a panic based fear that will eventually become more violent as anger and social stigma increases. Does this imply that we should stop listening or supporting Elvis Presley because he dated a 14-year-old girl? Moreover, does it suggest that hearing or being an Elvis fan makes you a supporter of statutory rights? The question is, “when does the conversation begin?” or is this electronic vigilantism stirred by social movements with no real agenda or cause? Are freedoms of choice under assault? Arguably there is enough evidence to present a spiraling out of control agenda with taking no prisoners mentalities. It is excessively dangerous with no end in sight.

If the sex offender registry was not enough to restrict movement and liberties, then the internet has an interesting way of making life nearly as difficult for those not on the registry. Spotify and Pandora are sizeable online streaming music services. They recently removed artists from its collection where fans must search for specific content. Movies starring accused or guilty offenders have been quickly removed from major content providers. Art has recently been removed from galleries because corporations or entities do not wish to be spotlighted with pressure from social movements. Most interesting, social movements or mob justice campaigning efforts are shaming those that listen, watch, or support such artists. That has many inquiring who is the bully or aggressor in this case? It has become an uncivil war on sexuality.

Social movements do attempt a subtle effect on placing the spotlight on specific issues – and should be commended for bringing a problematic issue forward. However, at the same time, such causes have a responsibility to educate and allow occasional discourse to remedy problems from becoming out of hand.  Those that differ should have an opportunity to be heard. Sex offender registries have harmed individuals, families, and supporters. The same stratagem occurs with social justice campaigns damaging artists, fans, companies, and the innocent. Just as offender registries lump all into one category, social movements are incidentally and sometimes purposely doing the same creating additional harm because emotion and sometimes interpretation is a contributing factor. While #metoo and #timesup campaigns initially were valid, that effect has morphed into anger, antagonism, and losing focus on the opportunity for open dialog and discussion. Maybe its time to stop and take a moment to #ListenToMe where a constructive dialog helping shed pain, frustration, and integrity are reintroduced?

In my #metoo experience from my childhood, I have learned how to cope, educate, forgive, and advocate for myself and others. What seemed like years of pain was a reality of several instances. I cant spend my entire life with an agenda to destroy another person because I want justice. If anything, sharing my personal experiences openly and candidly is the real #metoo movement. It is vital so that victims do not feel alone and non-victims become educated advocates.

False Sex Allegations

I had an interesting debate with a coworker today about people that lie about sexual assaults. Many agencies that educate the public about sexual assaults naturally will advocate that sexual assaults should never be labeled as false accusations. In fact, these same advocacy groups suggest that sexual assault are extremely underreported, and all should be taken seriously. On the other hand, there are people out there that will lie about rape because they want to revenge, redemption, or redirection. We both agreed that the key to sexual assault was consent. But in America, we have 5o states, and each state has its own definition of consent or how it’s defined. Consent will continue to become difficult to prove because of its one person’s word against another, and the criteria of consent have varying interpretations.

 

When we think about sexual assault, we may be drawn to an immediate violent crime where a person is raped by force leaving bruises or other injuries. But that way of thinking has shifted in the current definition of sexual assault by a multitude of interpretations to include touching a sexual organ or part. But watch any television show or passionate movie, and it is doubtful that the instantaneous sex scenes will ever demonstrate either person giving consent and sometimes play a role of sexual battery or questionable touching. I mention this scenario because many situations where people are involved in sexual roles are often similar to what we see on the big screen or television. Our conversation discussed if pop culture is somewhat responsible for not providing a benefit of educating the public about acceptable consent methods. If we mix in the ambiguous definitions of each state law, then the debate will continue for eons. Sure, no means no and we should respect that limitation. But in some cases, consent suddenly becomes a no that was never mentioned or insinuated.

 

People don’t typically lie about sexual assault. The subject in the question is that some do and the number appears to be growing.  I am not suggesting or diminishing the numbers that sexual assaults don’t occur. But finding accurate numbers with regards to false reportings can be a challenge. It would require data such as lie detection or counterclaimed physical evidence. The data that most rape advocacy groups utilize is based on studies that were completed between 1974 to 1986 which lists false reportings at 2%. But if you seek data from 1983 to 2004 then the number of false claims jump to 57% or higher. This information is provided from a 2006 paper by Philip N.S. Rumney in the Cambridge Law Journal. It demonstrates that there is a plausible argument that people do lie about sexual assaults or rape which is a disturbing trend.

 

But why would anyone want to lie about sexual assault? Is it because they regret what they did and want to turn back the clock as if it didn’t occur? But why would sexual assault advocate groups and law enforcement lie or mislead courts, schools, and the public about data the clearly shows a pattern of false allegations?  The topic is very sophisticated and ultra sensitive to grasp. People do lie on both sides and now is the time to introduce stiffer penalties for false police reporting and perjury in court. I fear that the future of sexual relations may be filled with smartphone recordings and sex tapes galore to reduce the burdens of rape accusations. The future of courtrooms juries will become a porn-like atmosphere where sex tapes will be viewed as evidence to either prosecute or reject a sex claim. Even with DNA forensics, the courts are filled with political agendas and elected prosecutors and judges. They too have an agenda to win cases to be reelected. We should place more emphasis on the truth and balanced investigation so that we are not revisiting an innocence panel twenty years from now and paying out outrageous sums because of shotty investigations, weak data, and emotional leverage inside the courtroom.

 
Perhaps it is safe to say we should return to a moral conscience society where we are careful not to place ourselves in situations where vulnerability could take place. Equally, there should be basic respect that individuals don’t benefit from a situation because the conditions are favorable. But we don’t live in a perfect world. However, we shouldn’t be adding to the imperfections to create falsehoods well after the fact. It’s one thing to have a credible case but another where the credibility is clouded and vague. Those that lie about sexual assault only hurt those victims of other sexual assaults and rapes. It makes our society suspicious and apprehensive especially in a time where adults should be reduced based on education and community information. But states should also take a moment to properly codify and streamline consent and federalize sex crimes so that education is improved and reduces the mixed definitions of assault.

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