The Mr. Snuffleupagus Effect: Ephebophilia Is Somewhat Common

WARNING: The following content is for mature audiences only. It facilitates an educational dialog and not a formality to support or denounce opinions of others.

Sometimes we hear of a term that we think means one thing but actually means another. Hearing the word pedophile used openly typically is brandished similar to how people swear or say faggot to others. Another misconception is how sex registries brandish those on it as a pedophile list or child rapists. It simply isn’t true. But sadly society has in its head that it is true because once it’s said enough over and over then it must be true?

Pedophilia is an ongoing sexual attraction to pre-pubertal children. It is considered a paraphilia, a condition in which a person’s sexual arousal and gratification depend on fantasizing about and engaging in sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme.

I am no psychiatrist nor an individual credible enough to clearly understand the “underage community”. There will be a continuous debate on legality, clinical disorders, mental state, age of consent, assault, and so on. To be quite honest it is a taboo subject matter that society often expresses in pejorative terms. But with the open debate about sexual consent and the vastly differing laws, age requirements, and false labels it is worth a serious discussion to best determine if society or a minority group is overstepping its bounds?

The word pedophile by dictionary terms means, “a person who is sexually attracted to children.” But to the medical professional community, it defines it as, “primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children.” But to inject a bit of maturity for a sensitive discussion, I feel that the classic pedophile definitions are children that have not reached the physical features of puberty. I may be wrong by other individuals or professionals. But there is my open opinion on the matter. Is pedophilia acceptable in forms of direct contact? Certainly not! But I think society has branded it to the lowest criminal forms. Merely the appearance of expressive classical paintings with nude children can raise eyebrows and suspicions if someone hints at the appreciation of the artistic value. Naturally, from our personal experiences in puberty, we understand that females develop much earlier than males. Somewhere about 5th grade, many girls have begun the transformation into womanhood. Around 7th grade, many males begin noticeable changes into manhood. The birds and bees stories of decades past have been replaced with smartphone app-based searches making the days of the random Playboy magazine hidden dad hid under the bathroom sink cabinet just past the roll of toilet paper a thing of the past. It is something we don’t talk about, but somehow all know the taboo rules of discretion – even as kids in middle school.

But a question that commonly is raised today is, “kids shouldn’t be on the registry because of curiosity?” However, it is acceptable to legislate a harsh prison term for consent, but statutory rape of a 17-year-old girl caught having sex with a 20-year-old boy? Now, remember that I used manhood to describe a 7th-grade boy but boy to describe a 20-year-old male? Why is the fine line of age a sticking point to levy harsh penalty? First: It is the law. Second: It is a feeble attempt to protect innocence. Third: It is the last form of control by others before the other person reaches his/her own legal decision making. Lastly: It has a punctilious conviction.

An example is if a 30-year-old woman has sex with a 16-year-old boy then its called just that; “had sex.” But if a 30-year-old man has sex with a 16-year-old girl, it is called rape. The highest age of the individual could be any significant legal age, and the outcome would be the same. However, the man would be labeled a pedophile, but the boy would be often celebrated in taboo discussions as “one lucky boy!” Funny how society separates sanctions.

When we frame any sort of sexual abuse as a “sexual relationship” or call a male survivor of sexual abuse lucky, we harm survivors of any gender.

But puberty has a funny way of throwing off how the value of maturity is measured. In life, at one time or another, we have met a person that we thought was an attractive woman or man only to learn that the person was 14 years old. It is as if we somehow accidentally internally label our mental assessments as pedophilic or inappropriate thoughts. Does that imply that we all carry pedophilic thoughts? It is a deep conversation perhaps we are afraid to answer because if we do so in an honest manner it could greatly impact the future standing as a trusted individual.

Recently there has been chatter about child sex dolls being banned in individual states? I don’t know how or what to think of that? I have heard of a collector edition Bennie Baby but a child sex doll. Does it come with a birth certificate? I am bewildered as to how this came to be an issue. If a product has a likeness image of a child then its illegal – if used for sexual arousal purposes? Personally, it’s a creepy feeling, but I have to question if a child sex doll could be in comparison to a small condom? Is that suggesting a micro-condom could be used by a minor versus an adult? It’s a silly comparison but to label a product as an age when it’s not in actuality that age presents a mindboggling rational as to why this law was introduced in the first place? Did a Senator catch a Congressman with one? Anyhow. I digress.

There is a thing that most often jokes about commonly known as the midlife crisis. A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old. Within those discussions, we often read or hear rumor of the 40-something male buying a sports car to meet some random girl half his age. The age is of the girl is indeterminate. But raises the issue if the man is labeled an Ephebophiliac? The reverse can be said for women past the age of 40 and the random “pool boy” stories.

Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19. The term was originally used in the late 19th to mid 20th century. It is one of a number of sexual preferences across age groups subsumed under the technical term chronophilia.

I get a chuckle about this particular subject. Women, and now men, have begun this craze of shaving, waxing, or removing pubic hairs from the groin area. Instead of hygiene, comfort, or other indiscretions, it poses a unique question if a man or women with pubic removal looks more pre or post-pubescent? Is this another taboo talking point subject because people want to suggest shaving is for one thing but represents another? But teens are doing the same thing by shaving when nobody, depending on the age of consent laws, can physically venture in that territory. The act of removing pubic hairs isn’t about metrosexual or self-confidence traits. Perhaps it is a hint of post-pubescent suppression for many under the guise of hygiene and appearance.

To be blunt, all of humankind has pedophilic thoughts. It doesn’t suggest that everyone acts out on them with physical touch or leering. The same similarities are how I view humankind with homosexual feelings. Again, it doesn’t suggest that people can become gay just as gay people don’t suddenly become heterosexual. The world has curiosities, and sometimes those curiosities cross a particular line society deems inappropriate with a set of sanctions. A former friend of mine lost his job with a police department because he voluntarily shared during a polygraph interview that he viewed child porn once. It is where a moment that we desire honesty, integrity, and a clean soul intersects quelling with an emotion that can never be eternally spoken. The sex registry isn’t filled with an overwhelming majority of pedophiles, rapists, ephebophiliacs or focused voyeurism individuals. Instead, the sex registry is the epitome of a weaponized all-inclusive mischaracterization of the word pedophile created by politicians and reinforced by pro-registry advocates.

Research has disproven the perception that sex offenders are especially prone to recidivism. In reality, recidivism rates for sex offenses are lower than for all other major types of crime, and the U.S. Department of Justice has found that only about 3 percent of child molesters commit another sex crime within three years of being released from prison. Meta-analysis of hundreds of studies confirms that once they are detected, most convicted offenders never sexually reoffend. (Not all sex offenders who victimize children are pedophiles; only about 40 percent of convicted sex offenders meet the diagnostic criteria for the disorder.) – Psychology Today

Before anyone interprets any ideas about the many classifications of pedophiles, they should never propose they are physically harmful or in similarity to murderers. There is no evidence that I can find to suggest pedophilic classes pose any threat to communities, society, or humanity. I personally do not know anyone that is or claims to be a pedophile. When
Milo Yiannopoulos once said, “In the homosexual world, particularly, some of those relationships between younger boys and older men — the sort of ‘coming of age’ relationship — those relationships in which those older men help those young boys discover who they are and give them security and safety and provide them with love and a reliable, sort of rock, where they can’t speak to their parents” is that discussion that many interpreted as support for pedophilia when in fact it was the opposite. He went on to say, “sexual attraction to someone who is 13 years old. Pedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty. That [discussion about sex and labels] is not what we’re talking about.” Shortly after because Yiannopoulos shared a candid story about his life and backlash, he resigned from his position at Breitbart News.

Perhaps a reason we are scared to talk openly about pedophilia is that we often don’t know anything about it. It is similar to how once the birds and bees were a right of passage became relatively impermissible. Sexual imagination is disallowed to be discussed in public and often in private settings. It isn’t just an elephant in the room issue. Sexual exploration has become the Mr. Snuffleupagus effect. If society and globalization are to remedy attempts at reducing child human trafficking in the sexual context, then we must have an open and candid conversation about the epitome of sexual taboos. Otherwise, if the professional medical community can’t properly address preventative care, then it will only be treated when the action is too late.

View from the Gloryhole

Growing up I learned a lot about having to cover for whom I really was. Thirty or so years ago there was no such thing as the LGBT community in the public view. In fact, merely saying that you were gay, lesbian, bisexual or experimenting could be the difference between life and death. During that same period, I witnessed witchhunts in the military, at school, in the church, and community of those that didn’t fit the straight model citizen approach. Any person not straight or straight-acting learned quickly to lie or make up any excuse from being identified as gay, lesbian, or any deviation from the public norm. Back then it was a matter of pure survival in a world filled with machoism and legalized beatings based on fear.

 

As I grew older, I began to find people somewhat like myself. There was an unwritten and complicated code of “people like us” or “friends of Dorothy” styled references that would ultimately allow ones guard to be let down for a brief moment. That guard was immediately restored if something traumatic or raised suspicion within the close-knit community. It was an era and continues to be, a somewhat traumatic for those raised during a period of pre-LGBT history.

 

As people would let down their guard and become comfortable there were two sets of identities to utilize. One would be your gay friends. The others would be those that would never meet your gay friends – thus the alter-ego of straightness. While songs by the Village People, Soft Cell, Indigo Girls, and Culture Club could let you off the gay hook, one had to be careful not to be singing Madonna loudly “Like A Prayer” or Cher “Believe” with drag styled hand motions. Otherwise, your secret is no longer a secret.

 

While LGBT issues appear to have significantly improved over time so has the opposition that demands nearly criminalizing anything gays have tried to highlight. As the wall of guilt and shame eventually were removed, it was straight people that began to outnumber gay patrons at predominately gay establishments (talk about a confusing time to differentiate who is gay, really gay, with the girlfriend, or secretly wishing they were with a guy instead of the girlfriend, or the dreaded “this is my first time here” liner). Gay marriage finally passed, but straight people are still trying to figure out who is the groom or bride in some weird traditional comparison. Of course, wedding cake makers seem to be devout Christians for some strange reason, and we seem to be living in a world where anyone can wear a rainbow shirt. But that is where the party ends, and queer life goes back to being really gay leaving the community divided, displaced and minimalized.

 

I watched a world where AIDS was joked upon by President Reagan and fear from contracting HIV was similar to blaming the cat for the spread of the plaque. Today HIV testing is buried and defunded yet infected rates continue to climb. Hate crimes are still relevant today with gay club shootings or random killing acts that capture the headlines of the evening news that are quickly forgotten. The George Michael days of public restroom cruising, Gloryhole arcades (yes, they called them arcades), exclusive LGBT hookup sites such as Craigslist, Men4RentNow, and many others have been forcibly removed because of claims of possible sex trafficking. Much has changed over the past decade. What has incredibly changed the most is how LGBT issues and rights are once again becoming a campaign moment that somehow “the gays are responsible for terrorists” ideology? Despite all the religious-right talk, there is very little of people actually countering to argue back. Keeping silent is pretty much just as the same as agreeing with the rhetoric.

 

There was a time were acquiring condoms, birth-control, or other sex-related items primarily came from people in the LGBT community – sometimes for free to promote safe and responsible sex values. However, today sex education is removed from the educational curriculum or most meeting establishments. Those free condoms, birth control or other informational handouts have been criminalized leaving all communities vulnerable.  Once again, the gays seem to take the blame.

 

One upside to the gay community is that more men are allowing themselves to become a bit more promiscuous because of the #metoo movement. If you think your man is over at a buddies house watching the game? – Think again! Some men are actually fearful of engaging in conversations with the opposite sex or having one night stands for fear of being sexist or possible false accusations. Therefore, the gay community is once again open for business to take care of what straights usually fuck up in the first place. But without condoms, education, and a way to become connected with a buddy system so will the rise of hate crimes, STD’s, false allegations, sex crimes, and other violence will undoubtedly begin to trickle again making the gay community the villain in these cases. That’s just how politicians want to paint that canvas – but the gays know how to add vivid color!

 

It is funny that history always seems to know exactly how to repeat itself. There are no real official spokespeople for the LGBT community. There are many advocates and high profile celebrities. But rarely will that celebrity status be used unless it benefits that individual. I don’t visualize Tim Cook, Peter Thiel, or Lady Gaga gunning for LGBT issues – unless of course, it profits their wallets. The new gay has become the professional and closeted gay saying, “what happens in my bedroom is none of your business!’  That may be true and valid, but society has a vulgar and graphic way of depicting any image it wishes to pursue. The facts remain that children that are LGBT are usually subject to abuse, homelessness, depression, PTSD, living two lifestyles, and disconnected from mainstream society. The programs once with highlight and mantra of the LGBT community has become an app or some weird paid online subscription trying to fix someone that isn’t quite yet broken but looking resources.

 

The gay bars, bookstores, gloryholes, dance clubs, anthem icon singers, and follies of gaydom seems to finally have ended. A few remaining protestors continue to fight to be the instantaneous posterchild for fifteen minutes of fame before becoming the lightning rod of the Republican party or religious-right groups. Perhaps we need to bring those infamous Gloryholes back? It could stimulate the economy and excite a few returning Republican Party members and religious-right patrons- as they were the most significant contributors to the Gloryhole society.

Homophobic States of America

A recent study published in the American Journal of Public Health mentions lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) individuals are disproportionately incarcerated, mistreated and sexually victimized in U.S. jails and prisons. Lead study author Ilan Meyer, the Williams Distinguished Senior Scholar for Public Policy at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law says “The high rate was so shocking, I had to check it three times to make sure we weren’t making any mistakes.” Sadly, the report may be a reflection upon the hidden agenda of prejudice in America when it comes to LGBT relations.

All you have to do is mention gay marriage or lesbian adoptions and the hate nonsense immediately begins. We may also hear garrulous and pointless discussions about LGBT members clandestine maneuvers to “turn” a person gay or fall prey to their sexual innuendos. It is not only absurd but utterly bizarre to think in this manner. But we do hear it and fail as a society to stop this insane way of thinking. There are people out there, perhaps you know a few, that still think there are a gay agenda and plan to disrupt society. Perhaps I was asleep at the wheel, but I missed my copy of that gay agenda. Could someone please send me a copy?

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What bothers me the most about this published report is that it comes hundreds of years too late. We are aware that homosexuality, in general, has been habitually persecuted when it began in the Colony of Virgina and the rest of the world. The people of Virginia before the United States was formed criminalized male sodomy, making it punishable by death. Most notable is when Oscar Wilde in England was sentenced to two years hard labor in prison for gross indecency. The list of persecutions aroud the world went on and somewhat still continue today. It was California that created the modern day sex offender registry. That particular registry was to list every known homosexual even while still incarcerated and alert communities about known homosexuals. Today that registry is a mixed bag of every offense treating and labeling it as a final sum. It’s not a registry; it’s a stigma list. Creating anti-gay laws or lists will eventually bring death in some form or another.

Of course, those practicing law or law enforcement will lean towards being anti-gay. After all, law enforcement is a macho uniformed paramilitary culture while law is a formal dark affair of backroom deals rather than actual justice.  Female police officers must cross genders to be accepted among their peers. Female attorneys do their best to look like men rather than who they are. This is where the shift begins not to identify fairness but to recognize the strong macho identification of emulation. American culture is somewhat vigilante in nature by suggesting sayings to those that will or are incarcerated as, “I hope they become someone’s bitch in prison” or “Soon, Bubba will have a new bunkmate.” These suggestions only confirm that LGBT individuals incarcerated are mistreated and sexually victimized. It further suggests that we as a society are not doing anything to protect LGBT communities nor providing an advocacy of equal justice under the law. As long as politics, judicial prejudice and bigotry occur then, there will always be a disproportion within our jails, schools, and society. I once heard the saying, “This is why homophobia is a terrible evil: it disguises itself as concern while it is inherently hate.” Our society, leadership, and judicial officers are responsible for providing equality to all and immediately discovering ways to stop the disproportioned. How many more hundreds of years must pass before we do something?

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